this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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