You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
