I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
