hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
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