just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
