I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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