so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
