i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I lost the right to judge tonight
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
