it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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