The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize