there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
