Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
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Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
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Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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