it was like fucking gandolphs beard
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize