I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
