You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You can't motorboat a personality
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
