my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
