Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Come see our sink grown plant.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
