It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
