Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I will die if light touches me.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
