Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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