That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In theory, it seemed like it would work.