is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.