How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.