im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing