i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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