This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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