And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
