you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
