you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
