I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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