Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My bed smells like the plague
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
