The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There r osticjed everywhere
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
