Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
This house was built for laser tag.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
