Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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