Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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