he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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