I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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