Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
