my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
