OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
