He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
