and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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