So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
