had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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