but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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