i just wanna soil my oats bro
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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