you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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