I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
