I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
