it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just gift wrapped bread.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
