At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
we're so committed to being not committed
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