Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So much rum. So many feels.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
