2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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