The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
