Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
