My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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