It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
