So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
