I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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