Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
