also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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