lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
