Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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