Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
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