it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
