It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
