i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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