he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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