I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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