Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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