his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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