i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
